Is She The Reason

I thought that this was something
Promising that one day It would turn into something
I thought the feelings were mutual And I didn't have to guess
Started being skeptical Always unavailable Like you didn't know
But now I'm feeling something
It's telling me this may not be the real something
But you was showing me
Now I'm ready and you running Damn, you got me open now
Feeling like I'm choking now
Where am I to go

I can't Believe that you can feel my heart
And I can't Believe you'd let me fall so hard
How could you let it go this far If you had doubts that I wasn't the one
And you said That you're the type to take it slow
And you said Before I step, I'll let you know
Before you let me see you with her
You could have told me a change was going to come

Is she the reason you don't call me like you used to
Fall through my hood like you use to
Or put it on me hard like you use to do
I feel in my mind what's going on
But my heart won't let me go until I know

Is she the reason that my calls didn't reach you
The deepest of my love couldn't please you
Or bring it to me home like you use to do
Seeing her falling for your charm Got me feeling like I wasn't good enough

See, I know we not official
But us being official ain't never been an issue
It came down to us
Boy, remember we were different
We said that we'd talk If we ever had problems about anything

I was cool with no commitment (wait)
Let me take that back It was you, so I was with it
Guess I didn't get When you showed you didn't miss it
Now it seems that your interest ain't here And we ain't the same

I can't Believe that you can feel my heart
And I can't Believe you'd let me fall so hard
How could you let it go this far
If you had doubts that I wasn't the one
And you said
That you're the type to take it slow
And you said
Before I step, I'll let you know
Before you let me see you with her
You could have told me a change was going to come

Is she the reason you don't call me like you used to
Fall through my hood like you use to
Or put it on me hard like you use to do
I feel in my mind what's going on
But my heart won't let me go until I know
Is she the reason that my calls didn't reach you
The deepest of my love couldn't please you
Or bring it to me home like you use to do
Seeing her falling for your charm
Got me feeling like I wasn't good enough

All you had to say was this ain't what you want
I wouldn't be so hurt and I could just move on
You had me believing, everything was my fault
But I can see now It's a situation that I must let go
Cause you ain't going to be a man and let me know
I guess me seeing you with her says it all

Is she the reason you don't call me like you used to
Fall through my hood like you use to
Or put it on me hard like you use to do
I feel in my mind what's going on
But my heart won't let me go until I know
Is she the reason that my calls didn't reach you
The deepest of my love couldn't please you
Or bring it to me home like you use to do
Seeing her falling for your charm Got me feeling like I wasn't good enough...........


Weezy

AFTER THE STORM!

I've been up and down and upside down for so long that now that I'm standing straight I can't tell the difference. I'm out of the water but I still can't breathe. Everything is broken in pieces but it was never whole in the first place. The tears used to fall on the outside and now they fall within. Everything is in its place, nothing is missing but nothing seems right. I was hanging on a noose tiptoeing on hope but that was pulled from under me. I used to have nothing and now I have less. You want to disappear but the spot light is on you so you cant even hide. The mask is on, so from the outside the structure seems whole but inside there is nothing but chaos. Sometimes I still feel caught up in the storm like a phantom pain that lingers from the past. Afraid to move cuz you'll fall. Afraid to yell because nothing might come out. Afraid of the memories that haunt you, but terrified to lose them because that's all you've got now. I hold my breath because I’m afraid you’ll see my heart pounding thru my chest. Afraid to lose composure and breakdown. Time is no longer relevant, because you're stuck in the hands of time. The ride stopped but I keep spinning. So what can you say or what can you do when its all said and done? Its my fault for jumping into a whirlpool with nothing to old on to. The after effect are still going on so every wind knocks me back down. So many people around but I'm still alone. Something that I once seemed so sure to lose is now finally gone. There is nothing else to fear when everything you feared finally came true. Now that the storm is over I should be at peace but the storm is all I've know and all I've lived.

Patiently waiting for the sunshine after the rain.............

Weezy

Insanities

Lets toast to moving on for a better 2010!

Hmmmm so where to start??? I’m not quite sure what happened or how I got here but something happened then everything started spinning out of control and the next thing you know we’re in 2010! Funny how one thing leads to another and things just go from bad to worse. I’m not one to broadcast my problems nor do I like when people get involve in things that are none of their business, but that’s what I think happened here. Some with good intentions try and help and others get in the way with their own conniving agendas. I know must of us are grown so they don’t need me to tell them what to do or who to see or who to talk to. Must people can come to their own conclusions as to what’s right and wrong, just like people can chose to believe what they want. I don’t want to get into too much details but contrary to believes there is nothing I’ve done that I wouldn’t do again nor anything crazy enough that anyone I know wouldn’t do. Its funny that someone who’s done worse has the audacity to judge me. Trust me I’m not smart enough to break into or hack into anything, nor I’m I that desperate for someone who really after so many years thinks I’m this monster. If a supposed friend was calling me insane than maybe she’s the one with questionable morals. I’m not the one being caught in a web of lies. Someone who’s so oblivious to what’s she’s doing its kinds sad really. I have NOTHING to hide or lie about and It’s true that you never really know someone but there are those people that I would trust with my life and those that I would never give a second chance to. I rather have one person in my life that I can trust with my life than have 200 “friends”. If there’s one thing that 2009 has tough me is to listen to my guts and go with my instinct because nothing is what it seems. I would never go and purposely hurt or lie to someone I cared about. My only sin was maybe caring for someone too much, and I tried to get away and run but you were always the one to bring me back. You were the one that create this “monster” so why blame me for your doing? Why not let me go like I try to do so many times? All I wanted was to be left alone so I can move on. I just want to leave all this stupid nonsense behind and move on. Everyone has their own drama. their own problems, and its always easier to see and solve someone else’s problems, but I’m a grown as woman that can deal with her own issues. Lets be grown ups here cuz I’m not out there talking shit about anyone nor do I go around convincing people you’re the devil. It’s sad that it all had to come to this but now I know who’s who. So lets stop with all the bull shit nonsense and move on. There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with the people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all life is too short to be anything but happy. So lets stop the cruelty and you dont have to believe or agree with me but all i'm asking for is to be left alone. Thanks and have a wonderful life.

Luisa M. Gonzalez